2016 NFL Big Brother Week 8 Eviction

Posted By: Chris Ransom on 10/31/2016

Julie Chen: Welcome to NFL Big Brother. My Name is Julie Chen and I'll be hosting NFL Big Brother where 32 NFL Teams compete against each other for the right to be HOH in order to play for the Big Brother Bowl. We have 12 teams remaining and after tonight we will have 10 teams remaining. Let's go out to London where Andy Dalton and Kirk Cousins are playing wall ball.

Andy Dalton: Looks like we tied 27-27 in London Kirk Cousins. We will have to play wall ball to settle this tie.

Kirk Cousins: Oh snap looks like I threw the ball so hard that I put a stain on this wall. I'm sure the owner won't mind.

Donald Trump stepped forward. Trump was not happy with who vandalized his wall.

Donald Trump: Who did this to my wall? Was it Dalton or Cousins?

Kirk Cousins: I did this to your wall. You like that. Yeah, you like that.

Donald Trump: No, but I'll like deporting you.

We returned to the NFL Big Brother house where Julie Chen was about to disqualify a team.

Julie Chen: Welcome back. Washington tied with Cincinnati. That means the Washington Redskins are disqualified from the game.

Dan Snyder: Donald Trump's racism prevailed. Hopefully justice is restored.

Julie Chen: I hear you Washington. I want Trump out too, but you guys have been evicted this week.

We will now go to Pittsburgh where Ben Roethlisberger and Mike Tomlin had a pep talk during the Pittsburgh Steelers bye week.

Ben Roethlisberger: I'm injured and the only way the Steelers can win the AFC is if we play the 8 seed Jacksonville Jaguars in the AFC Championship. Face it Coach Tomlin our season is over on NFL Big Brother.

Mike Tomlin: Shut up fool. We can still win this thing fool.

Ben Roethlisberger put his hands in his pockets. He found something.

Ben Roethlisberger: I almost gave Peyton Manning this NFL Big Brother Hall Pass. Good thing I didn't or Denver would have two NFL Big Brother Hall Passes.

Mike Tomlin: Give me that hall pass fool. We won that when the Steelers won that Quidditch Tournament fool. I forgot we even had that Hall Pass fool. If we face the Patriots in the next round and Denver wins we can use that Hall Pass to avoid eviction fool. Then Denver will decide whether they play the Patriots or the Steelers in the AFC Championship.

Ben Roethilsberger handed the NFL Big Brother Hall Pass over to Coach Tomlin. He felt a lot more confident knowing the Pittsburgh Steelers were one of three teams along with the Denver Broncos and Dallas Cowboys to have an NFL Big Brother Hall Pass.

Matthew Stafford met up with Peyton and Eli Manning. Stafford had some terrible news to report.

Matthew Stafford: Big Orange and Detroit are dead. I think Cecil the Lion betrayed his gay lions by killing them.

Peyton Manning: What a homophobic asshole. First Harambe and now Big Orange. Cecil the Lion will pay for what he's done.

Eli Manning: What about Detroit?

Peyton Manning: Fuck Detroit. Now I have to cheer Stafford up by telling him about the time we were the Super Mario Brothers on Halloween and how we had this neighbor that looked like Ned Flanders dress up as Bowser and refuse to serve us candy.

Eli Manning: At least that person didn't pretend our mother was Princess Peach.

Matthew Stafford: That story didn't cheer me up. It's time to find Pinky and let him know its time to fight Cecil the Lion.

Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, and Matthew Stafford searched for Pinky. Meanwhile Ted Cruz stepped into Donald Trump's office.

Ted Cruz: Bragh! Bragh! Happy Halloween Donald.

Donald Trump: I'm not Donald Trump Ted Cruz. I'm the Joker and I will deport all D.C. Superheroes. You will be my trusted sidekick Ted Cruz. The Penguin.

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz headed out to Gotham City to cause chaos on Halloween dressed up as the Joker and the Penguin. Meanwhile Batman was nowhere to be seen.

Someone was giving speeches in Roger Goodell's office. It was none other than the Batman. The media kept asking Batman questions about the NFL's biggest problems and why he came to replace Roger Goodell.

A media reporter asked Batman how he would cut back on Domestic Violence in the NFL. Batman had an effective and urgent solution.

Batman: The answer to that question is simple. If a player commits domestic violence I will invite them into my office and bitch slap them like they are Robin. One bitch slap means one game suspension. Two bitch slaps means you are suspended for the season. Three bitch slaps means you are banned from the NFL. This three strike bitch slap system will reduce domestic violence to rubble in no time. We can also apply this policy to players that test positive for drugs. I'm Batman and I'm the new commissioner of the NFL.

Roger Goodell: What's going on? Why is Batman on the stage announcing at my press conference?

DeMaurice Smith: Sorry Roger Goodell. NFL ratings are dropping. The NFL Players Association voted for Batman to be commissioner.

Roger Goodell: May I speak to Batman alone real quickly before I leave?

Batman: Go ahead. This will only take a second.

Roger Goodell: The Joker and the Penguin invaded Gotham City. Are you going to do anything about this. Let's make a deal Batman. Dallas goes all the way and wins the NFL Big Brother Bowl, I get to remain commissioner. If the Cowboys do not go all the way, you get to remain Commissioner.

Batman: I hate the Dallas Cowboys Harvey Dent. I was going to make you a deal that you could remain Commissioner if you disqualified them. I guess I will have to take you up on this offer and hope the New York Giants prevail.

Roger Goodell: I'm Roger Goodell. Not Harvey Dent. Go take care of the Joker and the Penguin. If I disqualify the Cowboys my NFL Martial Law bill won't pass.

Batman: I will take care of the Joker and the Penguin. I am here to restore justice to the NFL and keep your NFL Martial Law plan from going through Two Face.

Meanwhile Hillary Clinton dressed up as Donald Trump hoping to get more votes.

Hillary Clinton: I will deport all the minorities. I will make America Great again.

People booed Donald Trump. Many people told Hillary they were voting for Hillary Clinton as Hillary's plan to dress up as Donald Trump worked to perfection. Meanwhile people got pissed at Tom Brady because they were offended by his Halloween costume.

Tom Brady: Why are people booing me Rob Kraft.

Rob Kraft: Take that hat off. That hat shows support for Trump and his racism. Donald Trump deported the Washington Redskins. Even though Trump is a racist he made our job easier since Roger Goodell recruited the Redskins to his NFL Martial Law plan. With the Redskins disqualified, the only team left to deal with is the Dallas Cowboys. Still, you need to take that hat off.

Rob Gronkowski: It's okay Brady. At least nobody threw a dildo at you. Did you see someone throw a dildo on to the field at New Era Stadium?

Bill Belichick: That's nothing Gronk. I saw two Bills fans screw outside the stadium after the game. We beat the Bills so bad we caused a couple to throw dildos onto to the field and screw outside the parking lot after the game causing them to committ indecent exposure which is a serious offense.

Pinky: There was only one dildo. It's time for me to fight Cecil the Lion.

Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, and Matthew Stafford showed up. The three found Pinky who was on his way to fight Cecil the Lion. The group traveled until Pinky found Cecil.

Pinky: Yes, lets throw down Cecil the Lion. I will avenge Harambe, Big Orange, and Detroit.

Cecil The Lion: You sucker punched Minnesota. I will avenge Minnesota before they defeat the Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football.

Pinky and Cecil threw down. Peyton Manning was cheering for Pinky

Peyton Manning: Go Pinky. Kick Cecil's ass.

Pinky and Cecil kept fighting. Pinky eventually took down Cecil the Lion avenging Harambe.

Pinky: Thanks for having me on. I'm heading back to the Boston Zoo.

Peyton Manning: Take care Pinky.

Julie Chen summoned the remaining 11 teams to the room for the eviction ceremony.

Julie Chen: House Guests. Washington got disqualified for finishing in a tie. With Dallas winning and Atlanta winning a second team must be nominated.

Donald Trump: I don't want to nominate a second team.

Julie Chen: Well, you have to nominate a second team. The only team that can be nominated is the Buffalo Bills. That means the Bills are evicted and the Houston Texans move on.

Rex Ryan: You cannot just do that. Trump did not agree to that.

Donald Trump: I want Houston out. They beat the Lions. Buffalo was my favorite team when I was a kid.

Julie Chen: Tough shit Trump, the Bills are out. Scott Hanson give us an update on the AFC and NFC teams.

Scott Hanson: Wow, just wow Julie. We are officially now down to 10 teams. Three teams in the AFC and three teams in the NFC are now in the final 8, but the semifinal divisional round games for the AFC and NFC still have yet to be determined.

In the AFC we have the 2 seed New England Patriots, 3 seed Pittsburgh Steelers who will be HOH in week 10, and 4 seed Houston Texans moving on. That means we will either get 8. Jacksonville VS 2. New England and 4. Houston VS 3. Pittsburgh or we will get 4. Houston VS 1. Denver with Denver winning the week 7 tiebreaker and 3. Pittsburgh VS 2. New England with New England winning in week 7, but we just learned today that Pittsburgh does have an NFL Big Brother Hall pass just like Denver so they could use that Hall Pass to avoid eviction putting Denver in a position where they decide whether they play Pittsburgh or New England for the AFC depending on whether Denver gets by Jacksonville.

In the NFC we have the 4 seed Atlanta Falcons who will be HOH in weeks 9 and weeks 11, 6 seed Philadelphia Eagles, and 8 seed Detroit Lions moving on. That means we will either get 8. Detroit VS 4. Atlanta and 7. New York VS 6. Philadelphia or we will get 8. Detroit VS 2. Dallas and 6. Philadelphia VS 4. Atlanta. Dallas is the only team in the NFC with an NFL Big Brother Hall Pass.

Julie Chen: Thanks Scott. We'll be back next time on NFL Big Brother with the Atlanta Falcons being the HOH.

Next time on NFL Big Brother. The Atlanta Falcons are the new HOH. What is Atlanta's plan with the Falcons in the final 8? Peyton Manning's alliance confronts the Atlanta Falcons giving them a chance to join. Donald Trump calls Gus Bradley into his office. Finally, Jacksonville has to serve a have not punishment with the Jacksonville Jaguars losing to the Tennessee Titans on Thursday Night Football. Ten teams remain, will any get evicted? Find out next time on NFL Big Brother.