2016 NFL Big Brother Week 8 HOH

Posted By: Chris Ransom on 10/27/2016

Julie Chen: Welcome to NFL Big Brother. My Name is Julie Chen and I'll be hosting NFL Big Brother where 32 NFL Teams compete against each other for the right to be HOH in order to play for the Big Brother Bowl. Today is the second week of the NFL Big Brother Playoffs. There are only 12 teams left. The Jacksonville Jaguars are the new HOH in week 8, but before we go to the Jaguars lets go to Buffalo.

Roger Goodell: Peyton Manning has an alliance and so do I. Peyton's alliance features the Denver Broncos, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, Detroit Lions, New York Giants, and Philadelphia Eagles. The Dallas Cowboys are the only team working with me on my plan to form NFL Martial Law.

Rex Ryan: Look Goodell, I think Martial Law is stupid. I'm a huge believer in the first and second amendments. Put my feet in your mouth and maybe I'll consider joining if you get me drunk enough.

Roger Goodell: You are making a big mistake Rex Ryan.

Rex Ryan: Am I making a mistake or is that you ego talking. Every other AFC team except us is in Peyton Manning's alliance fighting your NFL Martial Law plan so we need to take it one game at a time. We want to be the neutral AFC team on this issue. We want to refuse your offer in diplomatic fashion.

Roger Goodell: There is nothing diplomatic about turning down my offer. You Rex Ryan are a stinky coward. At least you didn't give me the silent treatment like the fucking Atlanta Falcons.

Rex Ryan: Is that the best insult you got Goodell? You sound like a troll on Ebaum's World.

Goodell left Rex Ryan's office. We would now head back to the NFL Big Brother house.

Donald Trump: We're not doing NFL Big Brother Julie. We are doing The Apprentice On NFL Big Brother.

The Apprentice Theme Song played.

Donald Trump: Welcome to The Apprentice on NFL Big Brother from the Jacksonville Jaguars office. Today's challenge is to sell the most Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaign shirts. Jerry Jones will be the project manager for Team Donald Trump. Dan Snyder will be the Project Manager for Team Hillary Clinton. Whoever wins will be safe and whoever loses will be nominated for eviction.

Jerry Jones was not sure what to do. Jerry Jones turned to his two quarterbacks Dak Prescott and Tony Romo.

Jerry Jones: Dak Prescott, and Tony Romo. We need to sell Trump shirts what can we do.

Dak Prescott: We need to prepare for the Eagles on Sunday Night Football. Fuck this shit.

Tony Romo: We should give away free Donald Trump Cowboys jerseys to everyone who purchased tickets to the game.

Dan Snyder met with Rob Kraft to pitch ideas for a Hillary Clinton t-shirt. Then someone barged in.

Dan Snyder: I cannot come up with any ideas Rob Kraft. I'm about to give up. What the hell is Goodell doing here.

Rob Kraft: You can never give up Dan Snyder. If there is one thing I can tell you about this business it is that you never give up.

Roger Goodell: Kraft is right. The Washington Redskins logo is offensive to native americans. I will look past that though if you join me in my plan to create NFL Martial Law. If you don't join me, I'll disqualify the Redskins from NFL Big Brother.

Dan Snyder: Okay Goodell, I'll join.

Roger Goodell: Excellent choice Dan Snyder. I wish Rob Kraft and the Patriots would sign on to our noble cause.

Rob Kraft: I invited you on a cruise last week and this is how you repay me. Tom Brady is right, I cannot trust you.

Dan Snyder: You invited Goodell on a cruise but not me. Get the hell out of my office.

Rob Kraft and Roger Goodell left the room. Neither Jerry Jones or Dan Snyder made any money selling any Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton jerseys. Donald Trump was furious and brought both project managers back to the board room.

Donald Trump: What the hell. Neither Jerry Jones or Dan Snyder sold any Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton T-shirts.

Jerry Jones: Tony Romo gave away free jerseys for every fan that showed up to support the Cowboys against the Eagles.

Donald Trump: Why is Romo giving away free jerseys? What's the language we speak Jerry Jones?

Jerry Jones: English.

Donald Trump: No dummy. The language we speak is money.

Jerry Jones: Money is a currency we exchange. Money does not talk therefore it is not a language we speak.

Donald Trump: Money is a silent language like the Omerta in the Mafia. Dan Snyder didn't sell any jerseys either and he was supporting Hillary Clinton.

Dan Snyder: You should join Roger Goodell's noble cause. Us billionaires need to stick together.

Donald Trump: No. You guys play the Bengals this weekend correct Dan Snyder?

Dan Snyder: Yes we play in London.

Donald Trump: Okay we're building a wall in to keep NFL teams from going to London. Romo thought it would be funny to give away free Trump jerseys so Tony Romo wll make it up to me by helping me build a wall.

Dan Snyder: Why waste money on a stupid border?

Donald Trump: The Washington Redskins smuggle drugs into our country, they bring crime, they are rapists, and some are good people.

Jerry Jones: I remember when you said that about Mexicans in 2015. You are a damn savage Trump.

Dan Snyder: I'm so appauled that Trump would say that about my team. I'm voting for Hillary now.

Donald Trump: I don't have to put up with this shit. Come on Romo. Let's go build a wall in London.

Romo built a wall overnight. It was the quickest wall ever built while Trump monitored it.

The wall looked similar to the Great Wall of China. Trump gazed upon his brand new wall outside of London.

Rocky Balboa met with Pinky. Balboa was training with Pinky for his fight against Cecil the Lion.

Rocky Balboa: Great job kid. Watching you run downtown Philadelphia was impressive. Also you beat up a Tiger today. Tigers are much faster than Lions. I just hope you don't turn into a dick like Tommy Gunn. You got this Pinky.

Pinky: Thank you Rocky Balboa for training me. I will avenge Harambe on Halloween.

All 12 NFL teams were back at the NFL Big Brother House. It was time for Jacksonville to nominate teams for eviction.

Julie Chen: House Guests. The Jacksonville Jaguars will nominate two different teams for eviction with no Power Of Veto game in week 8.

Donald Trump: Thank you Julie. Dallas is part of Roger Goodell's NFL Martial Law plan plus the Washington Redskins are pissing me off to the point where I want to deport them from this country myself.

Julie Chen: Well, Dallas and Washington have been nominated for eviction. What does this mean Scott Hanson?

Scott Hanson: Well one of three scenarios will occur now. If Washington loses and Dallas wins the Washington Redskins would be evicted. It's win or go home for Washington who has a bye week in week 9. Dallas is safe win or lose since they have the NFL Big Brother Hall Pass that they can use if the Eagles win. If both Washington and Dallas lose 9 teams outside of Jacksonville, Washington, and Dallas would vote on whether Washington goes home or whether Dallas uses that NFL Big Brother Hall pass with no teams being evicted in week 8.

Julie Chen: The Cowboys are safe unless they lose their NFL Big Brother Hall Pass.

Scott Hanson: I doubt Jerry Jones loses his NFL Big Brother Hall Pass. He probably has that baby locked up in a vault or a safe.

Julie Chen: See you guys next time on Halloween for our eviction show.

Next time on NFL Big Brother. Kirk Cousins and Andy Dalton play wall ball in London to protest Trump's wall. Will the Washington Redskins get deported from NFL Big Brother in London? Donald Trump and Ted Cruz go to Gotham City to party on Halloween. Tom Brady's Halloween costume pisses people off. Hillary Clinton dresses up as Donald Trump to get more voters. Peyton and Eli Manning recall their childhood on Halloween. Mike Tomlin gives Ben Roethlisberger a pep talk. Which superhero declares himself Commissioner of the NFL on Halloween. What will the NFL Players Association say to Roger Goodell? What bet will this superhero make with Goodell. Plus Pinky fights Cecil the Lion. Find out who wins that fight and lives on this special Halloween episode this Monday on NFL Big Brother.