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2015 NFL Big Brother Week 1 Eviction

Posted By: Chris Ransom on 9/15/2015

Julie Chen: Welcome back to NFL Big Brother. Last time the Pittsburgh Steelers won HOH because of deflate gate over the Steelers. Pittsburgh immediately nominated Baltimore and Denver to up in the Power Of Veto game for week 1. With the Denver Broncos winning the Power Of Veto, Denver will likely take themselves off the block as a nominee meaning Pittsburgh has to nominate a second team for our week 1 double eviction special. The team Coach Tomlin nominates has to be 0-1 in week 1.

Who will Mike Tomlin nominate? Let's go to the Big Brother room.

Peyton Manning: I may have not thrown a touchdown in week 1, but I have to thank Aqib Talib for saving my rear end against the Ravens.

Aqib Talib: It was no problem. I was glad to help the team. What's the gameplan for this week Peyton?

Peyton Manning: Thanks to our victory over Baltimore we're safe. Best case scenario Mike Tomlin nominates Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis Colts as the replacement nominee. Then we go to Kansas City beat the Chiefs in week 2, nominate the 49ers and Steelers in the power of veto game, watch the 49ers win in Pittsburgh only to evict Pittsburgh. If all those things go our way the only team standing in my way of winning the AFC will be the New England Patriots with Baltimore, Indianapolis, and Pittsburgh all evicted.

Aqib Talib: What are we going to do about my ex quarterback. I haven't faced Brady in the playoffs yet plus I'm always injury prone.

Peyton Manning: If everything goes as planned with Baltimore, Indianapolis, and Pittsburgh gone, all I will have to do is defeat Tom Brady in a Children's Card Game in order to win the AFC and get a one way ticket to the Big Brother Bowl. The Super Manning Brothers alliance features every team in the AFC West and the NFC East.

Tom Brady: You'll never defeat me in a Children's Card Game Peyton Manning. As for the Super Manning Brothers alliance thanks for the tip. I'll make sure to get rid of as many teams in the group as soon as we win HOH. I'll start with you and Eli because you dickheads robbed me of 3 Super Bowl wins. There's no question we would have defeated Seattle in Super Bowl 48. Watching you fumble in New York on the first play of the game for a safety was funny as hell Peyton Manning.

Peyton Manning: Brady if you defeat me in the NFL Playoffs or a Children's Card Game it will be because you rigged the game by deflating the football or cards.

Tom Brady: The judge ruled me innocent. It's bad enough that the Steelers got HOH instead of the Patriots. Still we beat Pittsburgh in week 1 which makes them the have nots next week.

Mike Tomlin: Shut up fools. It's Mr. T. Coach Tomlin. B.A. Baracus is in the facility fools.

Peyton Manning: Jesus Mike Tomlin thinks he's Mr. T from the A team again.

Mike Tomlin: What was that fool? I pity the fool that avoids getting evicted from Big Brother without throwing a touchdown.

Tom Brady: Good one Mr. T. I'm gonna make things up to you after last thursday's 28-21 win.

Mike Tomlin: There's nothing you can do to make up for thursday fool. You guys cheated again using Radio Gate fool.

Tom Brady: Peyton Manning has an alliance called the Super Manning Brothers. It features the AFC West and NFC East teams.

Mike Tomlin: Is this true Peyton? Don't play Mr. T for a fool fool.

Peyton Manning: Fuck you Brady. We have bigger problems in this game Mike Tomlin. Don't be a pencil dick.

Mike Tomlin: I could put Indianapolis or Seattle up, but if you don't let me in the Super Manning Brothers, I'm gonna put Eli up meaning your alliance will only have 7 members.

Peyton Manning: Alright you can be the ninth member. Just don't evict Eli Manning.

Tom Brady: Can I join this group? If you guys have 10 members in your alliance you will have all the votes needed to win.

Mike Tomlin: Thanks for the tip on the Super Manning Brothers fool. Mr. T doesn't do business with shady cheaters fool. The A Team sends cheaters to jail and unleashes Crime Fighting justice.

Tom Brady: You 9 are all going to pay for this. The New England Patriots are the greatest team of all time in the NFL.

Mike Tomlin: The Patriots only won 4 Super Bowls by cheating fool. The Steelers earned 6 Lombardi Trophies without cheating fool.

Peyton Manning: Thank god that heated exchange was over. I'm gonna let the Super Manning brothers know that the Steelers have joined our alliance.

Mike Tomlin: Cool now I have to decide whether to evict the Indianapolis Colts or the Seattle Seahawks. I think I'll send both teams up to the HOH room and hear them out first up the Colts.

Andrew Luck: Hey Coach Tomlin, you wanted to see me?

Mike Tomlin: I'm trying to decide whether I should evict the Colts or the Seahawks after both teams lost in week 1. Tell me why the Colts should stay in the game.

Andrew Luck: I'll get straight to the point. If you keep us in the game, Indianapolis will have your full support until the end of the game. We will make a final 2 deal where we would be the final 2 teams in the AFC. Plus by knocking out Seattle, everyone in the NFC will support you and vote to evict the team opposing you because they owe you one by getting rid of the Seahawks.

Mike Tomlin: Good point fool. Now get the hell out of my office fool.

Andrew Luck: Your the fool if you keep Seattle in the game. Good luck with your decision Coach Tomlin.

Mike Tomlin: I'll take that into consideration Andrew. Can you please send Russell Wilson and Pete Carroll up to my office.

Andrew Luck: Sure Coach Tomlin. I'll be happy to send Coach Carroll and Russell Wilson up to the HOH room.

Mike Tomlin: This room is not the HOH room fool. It's my office fool now get Wilson and Carroll up here immediately fool.

Andrew Luck left the room and scrambled to grab Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson by the shirt before sending them up to the room.

Russell Wilson: Why did you bring us up here? We aren't even in the same conference.

Mike Tomlin: I have to decide whether to nominate the Colts or Seahawks for eviction. Say Andrew Luck is the best quarterback in the 2012 NFL Draft, and I'll spare Seattle.

Russell Wilson refused to say that and immediately left the room. Wilson may have an ego, but he kept his dignity as a player in check.

Pete Carroll: You scared away Russell Wilson way to go. Seriously what does Seattle have to do to avoid eviction.

Mike Tomlin: First were gonna watch you lose to Texas in the 2006 National Championship game. Then were gonna watch the Steelers screw Seattle Seahawks out of a Super Bowl. Then were gonna watch Super Bowl 49 again fool. Watching you throw it on 2nd and goal to Malcolm Butler was priceless fool.

Pete Carroll: How about we watch Super Bowl 48? Or if you are into College Football we can watch Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush run it up on Bob Stoops.

Mike Tomlin: No fool, we're gonna watch nine hours of the Seahawks and Pete Carroll getting schooled fool.

Pete Carroll and Mike Tomlin bonded over 9 hours of film. Coach Carroll survived the rapture that Coach Tomlin unleashed.

Pete Carroll: You should have nominated someone for eviction by now since the show is only one hour, but I drugged Julie while the Colts visited you 9 hours ago. She should be up any minute.

Mike Tomlin: Thanks for the tip fool. Time to tell Andrew Luck to pack his bags fool.

Pete Carroll left the room. Fifteen minutes later Andrew Luck showed up again for a second time.

Andrew Luck: Coach Tomlin I got a proposal. The Colts will agree to replace you as the have nots in week 2 if you get rid of Seattle now.

Mike Tomlin: Deal. I made Pete Carroll watch nine hours of film of him losing to Texas in the National Title, Seattle losing Super Bowl 40, and then him losing Super Bowl 49. Also he drugged Julie Chen when you were up.

Andrew Luck: Poor Pete Carroll LOL. Julie should be up any minute.

Julie wakes up from being drugged. She's about to make an announcement.

Julie Chen: House guests. It's time for the Power Of Veto ceremony. This ceremony should have happened 9 hours ago, but one of the contestants drugged me and now I'm fully awake and ready to resume the show.

Everybody showed up. The 32 teams were waiting for Peyton Manning to take himself off the block and were curious as to who Pittsburgh would nominate for eviction.

Julie Chen: House guests. Welcome to the Big Brother Power Of Veto ceremony. It's time for Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos to decide what to do with the Power of Veto.

Peyton Manning: Alright, thank you Julie. We have decided to use the Power Of Veto on ourselves.

Julie Chen: Alright, Denver is off the block. Coach Tomlin please pick a nominee to replace the Broncos.

Mike Tomlin: Alright Julie, the team replacing the Denver Broncos will be the Seattle Seahawks. We narrowed it down to Indianapolis and Seattle. In the end we went with Seattle even after making Pete Carroll watch nine hours of film because Andrew Luck and the Colts agreed to be the have nots if we evicted Seattle.

Julie Chen: Thank gosh. Pete Carroll was the person that had the audacity to drug me. Since this week is a double eviction show, no contestants will have to vote to evict a team. The Baltimore Ravens and Seattle Seahawks are both officially evicted from NFL Big Brother.

Next time on NFL Big Brother. The Denver Broncos battle the Kansas City Chiefs for Head Of Household on Thursday Night Football. Also Andrew Luck, Jim Irsay, and the Colts visit David Letterman in a retirement home as Letterman returns to CBS for the first time since the Late Show With David Letterman. Which team will win HOH on NFL Big Brother and will Jim Irsay play Bingo with David Letterman? Tune this friday to find out on NFL Big Brother.

Teams Evicted From NFL Big Brother

Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks

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