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2015 NFL Big Brother Week 2 HOH
Julie Chen: Welcome back to NFL Big Brother. This week the Denver Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs played for the head of household. The Denver Broncos avoided evection by beating the Baltimore Ravens in week 1 and are now the new head of household after a 31-24 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs.
Peyton Manning: Alright guys I have a new member to recruit to the Super Manning Brothers.
Demaryius Thomas: Who is it? We cannot have too many members? Peyton Manning: It's the Pittsburgh Steelers. If I didn't add them to our alliance, Coach Tomlin was gonna send Eli home and break apart our alliance.
Mike Tomlin: So you guys are the Super Manning Brothers with your support along with the 15 NFC Teams I got 19 NFL Teams kissing my ass. I might do some techno dancing like on the Thursday Night Game against Jacoby Jones.
Emmanuel Sanders: Really Peyton, the one team that you recruited to our alliance is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now our crew has 9 teams. Mike Tomlin: I'm not the target fool. We need to focus on the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills fool. If you weren't a fool you never would have left for Denver. Peyton Manning: Shut your mouth Tomlin. The Super Manning Brothers gonna hold a meeting on who to nominate for eviction. OMAHA! Peyton Manning: Alright let's here everyone out. Tomlin wants to nominate the Patriots and Bills, but we're gonna hear everyone out. We'll start with the senile Jerry Jones.
Jerry Jones: I say we nominate the Lions and the Vikings. The Lions keep bitching about how Dallas should have gotten penalized in the wild card game they lost at AT&T Stadium and the damn Vikings think they can build a better stadium then Jerry World. Peyton Manning: That Vikings stadium won't open until next season. Let's hear Chip Kelly.
Chip Kelly: I say we nominate the Buccaneers and Saints. I'm sick of everybody saying Jameis Winston is better than Marcus Mariota and the Saints beat me in the playoffs at home. When is this meeting over I want to get back to playing Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt with Marcus Mariota. Peyton Manning: Chip you need to focus. Let's hear RGIII.
Robert Griffin III: Yeah! Peyton Manning: What? Robert Griffin III: Yeah! Peyton Manning: What? Robert Griffin III: Yeah! Peyton Manning: What? Robert Griffin III: OK! Peyton Manning: Are you gonna nominate someone? Robert Griffin III: Yeah! Peyton Manning: Who? Robert Griffin III: Texans VS Panthers. I'm pissed that Houston thinks they are better than Baylor and the Panthers think their the shit with Cam Newton. I'm the shit. Peyton Manning: I don't know what's more fucked up Tomlin thinking he's Mr T. or Robert Griffin III thinking he's Lil John from Chappelle's Show. Just for your information Lil John is not related to Pappa John's. Mike Tomlin: Lil John is related to Pappa John's fool. Don't talk shit about Lil John let's hear the Raiders.
Mark Davis: I cannot stand the Chargers, but I'm working with them until we get the other teams out of this game. I'm nominating the Chargers and Bengals for that reason?
Phillip Rivers: The feeling is mutual so we nominate the Ravens and Raiders. Unlike Oakland we won't be relocating to Los Angeles as our team will stay in San Diego. Mark Davis: Fuck you Rivers and fuck the people of San Diego including Ron Burgundy? Phillip Rivers: Don't talk shit about Ron Burgundy. Why so serious? Peyton Manning: Rivers why do you have to be a dick.
Andy Reid: You guys mentioned Pappa John's I want Pappa Johns. I think I will either nominate the Patriots VS Bills game or the Buccaneers VS Saints game. Peyton Manning: I'm gonna call Pappa and put Eli in charge while I make the order. I'll get us a cheese and a 1 pepperoni pizza.
Eli Manning: Alright I'm thinking we put Tampa Bay and New Orleans up with Green Bay as a replacement nominee if I lose to the Seahawks.. Andy Reid: I'm gonna show you my new offensive line Eli. I have to make an adjustment after watching Alex Smith get his ass handed to him.
Red Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH! Andy Reid: At right tackle we got the Yellow Kool-Aid Man.
Yellow Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH! Andy Reid: At center we got the Blue Kool-Aid Man.
Blue Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH! Andy Reid: At left guard we got the Purple Kool-Aid Man.
Purple Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH! Andy Reid: At right guard we got the Green Kool-Aid Man.
Green Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH! Peyton Manning: Order's in guys. What the hell happened to the HOH room. It's completely destroyed. Andy Reid: Peyton, did you meet my new offensive line of Kool-Aid men? Peyton Manning: I leave for five seconds to put Eli in charge of this room and a bunch of fucking Kool-Aid men show up and destroy the room. Eli Manning: If I beat Washington next week the Giants will have HOH. Peyton Manning: God help us all when that happens Eli. This meeting is dismissed, I have to fix the walls. Feel free to have your way with the Kool-Aid Men DeMarcus and Von. OMAHA! Julie Chen: Now that the Super Manning Brothers meeting is over it's time to go to a commercial break. Will Peyton Manning fix the room? Will DeMarcus Ware and Von Miller get rid of the Kool-Aid men? And find out what the have nots will do right after this on Big Brother.
Andrew Luck: David, I always loved your show. I think Stephen Colbert was an excellent candidate to replace you.
David Letterman: My first choice was Bob Saget. Colbert is great, but he sucks compared to Saget. Andrew Luck: You don't deserve a talk show if you think that. Also give me your jersey. Anyone who thinks Bob Saget should have his late night talk show doesn't get an Andrew Luck jersey. David Letterman: Alright if I give you the jersey will you call Jim Irsay to play Bingo with me? Andrew Luck: Sure give me the jersey David. Jim Irsay get in here David Letterman challenges you to a Bingo Game. David Letterman: Oh Boy! I get to play Bingo with the Colts owner.
Jim Irsay: I'm ready to play Bingo Letterman. I got my Hennessy and Pills ready for the game.
Paul Tagliabue: Unlike Rodger Goodell I'm not a total asshole. With that being said everyone has an NFL shield in the middle of their boards that is your free space. Let's get started. Jim Irsay: Is it just gonna be the three of us today? Paul Tagliabue: Yes Jim Irsay. B5, I69, N6, G0, O0, B4, I1, N69, G4, O1, B9, I79, N64, G16, O10, B10, I10, N2. Jim Irsay: Bingo! Paul Tagliabue: Let me see your card Jim Irsay. B4, I1, N2, G4, O1. 5 across the board on top. That's bingo. Jim Irsay wins. Julie Chen: House guests. It's time for the nomination ceremony. Peyton Manning who did you nominate. Peyton Manning: Alright, thank you Julie. We have decided to nominate the New England Patriots and Buffalo Bills in the Power Of Veto game. Tom Brady is a cheater for Deflate Gate and a threat to this game. Rex Ryan is just an asshole. Julie Chen: Alright, New England and Buffalo. You guys have been nominated for eviction.
Tom Brady: I made a huge mistake when telling Tomlin about the Super Manning Brothers. I never should have said anything to Tomlin the same way I said nothing to Goodell in the appeal process.
Rex Ryan: Peyton, I know you hated me on the Jets, but couldn't you have nominated the Jets instead.
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