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2015 NFL Big Brother Week 7 Eviction
Julie Chen: Welcome back to NFL Big Brother. We are down to 16 teams. Tonight we announce the first team to get evicted from NFL Big Brother. The Carolina Panthers defeated the Philadelphia Eagles in the Power Of Veto game.
Chip Kelly: I guess that means were getting evicted. I'll go get my stuff. Julie Chen: Yep you're getting evicted. Go pack your stuff.
Kevin Reilly: Julie you cannot do this to my precious Eagles.
Don Tollefson: Kevin if you want the Eagles to stay in this game you have to make Julie Cook and clean naked just like I tell everyone on Walter Football during our Monday Night Pre Game Shows.
Dan Campbell: You cannot talk to Julie like that Brah! She's a stunning woman like Caitlyn Jenner. Julie Chen: Thanks. What the heck is Herm Edwards doing here.
Herman Edwards: You play to win the game. Caitlyn Jenner is not a woman. She's a man. Men don't have breasts. Men can admire breasts, but they cannot touch breasts. Not chickens breasts not women's breasts. No breasts for men. Kevin Reilly: Herman Edwards your comments make me want to get a sex change operation just like Caitlyn Jenner. We'll be right back after this. Julie Chen: Welcome back to NFL Big Brother. The Eagles are still bickering like a bunch of Angry Birds about getting evicted from the game. Dan Campbell: Caitlyn Jenner did not get a sex change operation Brah!
Vince Papale: I'm ready to compete for a spot on the Eagles Coach Kelly. I'm ready to come out of retirement and win a Super Bowl.
Tom Brady: You're Mark Wahlberg. You're the asshole that tried to steal my sperm in Ted 2.
Bill Belichick: Roundhouse.
Peyton Manning: What the hell Belichick. Only Chuck Norris gets to Round House people. Also why am I 8th on Walter Football's Fantasy Football Power Rankings. Tom Brady: Those were the preseason power rankings. I was 11th, but everyone knows I'm first. Bill Belichick: I get to Roundhouse anyone who interferes with the Patriots Peyton. You should be 18th in Walt's new Fantasy Football Power Rankings with photos next year assuming you don't retire. Kiss The Rings. Kevin Reilly: Fuck the Patriots and fuck the Broncos. I want to know if my Eagles will be safe.
Charles Davis: Kevin if you want the Eagles to remain in the game you're gonna have to seduce Julie. There are all different kinds of men that are taught the art of seducing women and now I'm go over each one. Let's start with PUA's. Do you know what PUA's are Kevin? They are pick up artists. How about pimps? Do you know what pimps are Kevin. Pimps get money from women in exchange for sexual favors on clients. Do you know what Casanova's are Kevin? Casanovas are the Don Juan's of our generation Kevin. Do you know what Playboys are Kevin? Playboys are pimps in Hugh Hefner robes that live in the playboy mansion and have sex with bunnies. Kevin Reilly: I'm not gonna be a playboy Charles. There's no way I'm putting my penis inside a bunny rabbit. That's just disgusting. Don Tollefson: Kevin playboy bunnies are women that get naked and cook and clean for men at the Playboy Mansion. They get to stay at the mansion for free and in exchange are paid to be the Hefner's slaves. Kevin Reilly: Oh well if Playboy bunnies cook and clean for you naked that doesn't sound so bad. Still I'm not going to abuse that power like Don. We'll be right back after this. Julie Chen: Welcome back to NFL Big Brother. During the commercial two College Football Mascots invaded the Big Brother House. We take you live to resolve the conflict.
The Duck: Help I'm being kidnapped. Ahhh!
Sebastian The Hurricane: Chip Kelly you got two choices you can leave the Eagles to come coach at the U at Miami FL or you can stay with Philadelphia and the Oregon Duck mascot can die. Chip Kelly: Alright I'll go to Miami FL. Just don't hurt the Duck or anyone on the Eagles. Sebastian The Hurricane: Good choice lets go. Kevin Reilly: Chip Kelly. You have to rethink this. You cannot do this to my Eagles.
Sam Bradford: Come on let's go I'll get you Sam Bradford poster and some Super Man Ice Cream. Kevin Reilly: Alright I love Superman Ice Cream. Let's go Don, Herm, and Charles. You don't get any god damn Superman Ice Cream Mark Wahlberg because you beat up an old cripple back in the 80's.
Cam Newton: I'm Superman since I do the Superman move when I get a touchdown so you either have to let me come with you to get some Superman Ice Cream or pay me to eat Superman Ice Cream. My Superman Ice Cream is the official Superman Ice Cream of the National Football League.
Roger Goodell: That's right. Cam Newton Ice Cream is the official Super Man Ice Cream of the NFL. You can have any type of Ice Cream you want, but if you buy the Superman Ice Cream you have to get the Cam Newton Superman Ice Cream so the NFL makes more taxpayer dollars off of you. Kevin Reilly: I've changed my mind. I don't want Cam Newton's dirty stinky Superman Ice Cream. Can I get autographed Sam Bradford posters instead? Sam Bradford: Sure buddy. Cam Newton: Alright. More Superman Ice Cream for me Cam Newton. The official Superman of the NFL.
Nick Foles: Thank god the Eagles are gone. Karma is a bitch Chip Kelly. There's a reason why I got a C on my jersey and Sam Bradford doesn't.
Matt Ryan: Thanks to the Eagles being evicted the Atlanta Falcons are in the next round giving us an automatic spot in the Final 8 isn't that correct Julie? Julie Chen: That's correct. That does it for this weeks edition of NFL Big Brother.Teams Evicted From NFL Big Brother
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